Downward dog tired

We had a led class again this morning, meaning we’ve gone full circle with Vijay – I can see how the days could start to merge into one dreamy yogic existence here. Sleep, do yoga, eat, chat in a cafe for rather a long time, drink  fresh coconut, do pranayama, eat, socialise in a cafe for rather a long time, grab another coconut, do yoga, eat, socialise, sleep. And repeat…

In many ways it’s a brilliant life – no real deadlines except to turn up for class on time, plenty of interesting people to chat to, food so cheap that we can feasibly eat out every meal time, lots of downtime to read, relax, watch the world go by. Pretty good really…

But then, there’s the slight issue of yoga twice daily, five or six times a week (depending on when moon days fall) to deal with. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel like I’ve had enough of it! I’m firmly in the midst of the pain stage, which is normal when first arriving, and apparently lasts around five weeks, before you emerge the other side, blinking like an escaped convict who suddenly sees hope in the blue sky again after their stint of incarcerated darkness.

OK, I’m probably exaggerating a bit, but I feel stiffer than I’ve felt for a looong time, I have permanent low-level tiredness and lethargy, old injuries are rearing their all-too-familiar heads, the back-bending classes are challenging me both physically and emotionally, and my muscles are clearly rather annoyed at how I’m treating them – ‘Give us a break, Becky!’ they scream at me as I take my first forward bend of each class. I feel a bit deflated and frustrated – when will it start to feel good?!

Meanwhile, Chris is halfway through his Mysore ‘time’ already (one month) and busy planning his epic scooter ride through India. I catch him poring over a map of India with an eager gleam in his eye – and I’m envious! I find myself wistfully imagining myself escaping with him, riding pillion into the sunset to see what we can discover in this huge and enticing country. I love exploring, and I love the great outdoors, and I’m starting to wonder whether I can cope with living for three months in a hectic city, committing to the relentless yoga schedule and dealing with all these unfamiliar aches and pains.

But then I take a deep breath, take a step back from myself and smile through the tiredness. I know I’m in the right place. I know that getting through this initial painful stage is very much part of the process of being here. Tough times like this are where we find out how strong we are, how determined we can be; where we exercise discipline, humility and acceptance. Plus it’s great practice for developing that elusively equanimous mind, which, really, is the whole point of all this contorting and breathing. I hold firmly to the old cliche, ‘you get out what you put in’, and know that, when I finally leave behind this painful stage, I will feel doubly good for having stuck it through, for not having given up. I know that the pain is actually my body and mind becoming stronger and more supple, and who knows to what paradigm shift in myself this will lead.

So, here I shall remain, following Chris’s journey in spirit as I travel on my own personal journey. I may not cover so many miles, but I am sure I will still go far… 🙂

(And, by the way, having just re-read the second paragraph, I certainly don’t expect any sympathy from anyone for the current pain I am in!)

tired lion 2

This pretty much sums it up…

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